hungover, sleep deprived, stressed out ramblings

i de-evolve in the presence of stress
retreat within myself
the groundhog sees its shadow
another endless winter keeping spring at bay

i lose sight of myself in mental fog clouded mirrors
antisocial distortion of all my goals and dreams
carnival funland proves not to be so fun
when all the clowns are laughing at you

blue lips pointed down white smeared cheeks
tears running laps in well worn tracks
standing on their heads to show their true emotion
the world's gone upside down from what you knew

in the hall of mirrors, trapped
staring at yourself in greek masks
you change like lipstick color
different faces for different occasions

each one leaves its own distinct red scar
marking the time and place of necessity
exactly why you felt the need to frown
to cry, to laugh, to shrug, to stare blindly

tried so hard to shatter every false reflection
bloody hands and fingers clawing at the shards
that only showed you smaller pieces of yourself
spinning for eternity in mini-prisons

broke one wall to reveal another hall
an endless labrynth showing you everything
you wanted to be and everything you'd never see
and all the ways you just won't measure up

in the end you meet the expectations
silently scream as loudly as your little voice can
but you don't hit that falsetto well enough
to break free of this endless cycle

job well done and and shuffle on
down the hall of lies and faded dreams
til you cant see where you started or
tell your real face from the one staring back

both ice cold and drained of all emotion
alone in the closed down carnival
wishing you'd never paid those 7 tickets
for that one failed chance at a good time