wrote these a while back...

for someone so far out of my league i'm not even allowed in the stadium -
the only way i'd match him is if i somehow won the lottery and bought myself a shiny new body and personality to boot. not that i'm down on myself, i'm merely mortal and i know my limits.

Firefly
i'm the firefly in pale moonlight
my inner glow intensely burning;
a six second half-life fully lived.
i flutter and i fall too easily;
your wild mischievous eyes follow me.
i'm drawn toward your gaze and hands
but won't let myself be captured.
trapped in your jar and shaken
i'm stirred to be with you
and terrified of these glass walls.
will you open me up to the sky?
maybe, baby set me free
to blaze my own trail
on this quickly ending night?
will i burn too quickly in your hands,
flicker out and die as you stroke
my crying face and wipe the tears away?
i'll stay warm and safe in your arms
for as long as you will have me.
will you let me go and glow
or keep me on your shelf,
a trophy conquest pinned and mounted?
will this flash as swift as lightning,
burn bright only to fade away into the night?
or will these few weeks be a lifetime?


Rejection
kiss me quick before i crumble in your arms
drip away into black oblivion crawling with ants
as the rain pouring from my eyes melts
what little sweetness i had left into a puddle
at your feet, right where i belong.
shake me off in drops on the doormat
two quick stomps before rushing back inside
to escape the deluge ive created.
but you're the one who prayed for rain
mixed smoke signals weighed down with
unintended double meanings,
choking up the cloud-drenched air,
making it heavy for the coming storm
and i have no apologies for the
hurricane within my half-healed heart
i just wish you hadn't melted
my glacial walls enough for the
high winds and fierce rage to escape
and pound upon the just slammed door.
i never meant to trip and fall this easily
but my entranced eyes stopped watching
where my drunken feet were stumbling
and your hand brushing up my back
only served to force me lower,
not help me up as you no doubt intended.
but the best intentions are just that -
things we meant to do but didnt follow through.
actions speak louder than words but i still
can't quiet that screaming voice within me saying
"i told you so, you stupid cow"
til i'm forced here murkily at your front step
waiting for the sun to dry me out and send me home
back to the sky where i belong
back to where you can't touch me or make me cry
back to where i never let you in
back to where its only i, i, i
and never me, and never we, and never us
back to my ice prison i won't let melt again.
no matter how bright the flame or strong the fire.
back to the solitude i so desire.